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7th July 2003

shsauser3:49pm: n00b
i joined . so i guess i ll say something

. . .

um , friday night. . . . i was definitly flagged
Current Mood: i feel appetizing

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6th July 2003

tabrisxx10:19pm: alright....so i am posting...which is dumb...i should really just get anna's e-mail cause that is the only person that uses this anymore cause everyone else is SLIPPIN!

HAHAHAHA...the snoop show is FUCKIN HILARIOUS.

anyway...i almost started cryin during willy wonka and the chocolate factory today.... i dont know why.. i got to the part where the grandpa got him a wonka bar for his b-day.. the mom told the grandpa not to get his hopes up like that..
"why. he has JUST as good a chance of winning as anyone else. open it charlie"
*opens it*
"GRANDPA I WON. I WON GRANDPA LOOK!"
"QUICK. show us that gold charlie!!"
*turns around with a frown*
"i fooled you.... you actually thought i wont didnt u?" :-(
".......you'll get it charlie.....you'll get it...."

and that was the part...i dont know...

i am odd...and a bitch...and a child...and i LIKE IT

i am also sick of hypocrites.... they are all over... and before its thought i will verbalize that i am ALSO one... but u know what i hate being one....i have no choice..... i have nothing else i can do... cause some things in life i CANT make happen no matter what i do... so leave me alone..

and so people know...everything i do have done or ever will do...i will tell u....i dont deny or lie about things especially to my friends...cause everything we do...even things we are ashamed of make us what we are....and though i dont have everything i want...i am exactly what i wanna be...

peace dude..

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25th June 2003

chaoseyes9:40pm: it would really make me very very happy if all of you could come to my house july 5th. its going to be one hell of a birthday celebration. well i hope at least.....please ::sad puppy eyes, pout, pout:: i love you.

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tabrisxx9:28pm: SoLsUcK: are u being attacked by your computer
StarsOfOleander signed off at 9:21:41 PM.
StarsOfOleander signed on at 9:21:48 PM.
StarsOfOleander signed off at 9:22:04 PM.
StarsOfOleander signed on at 9:22:14 PM.
SoLsUcK: ok......just stop...turn your computer off and go to bed...the war is not over but this battle goes to the machines
StarsOfOleander: damn it to hell
SoLsUcK: what is your condition
SoLsUcK: why are u continuing to go on and off line
SoLsUcK: is this some sad attempt to shake me?
SoLsUcK: cause it is working
StarsOfOleander: i can't read anything you are writing
StarsOfOleander: my computer is rejecting me
SoLsUcK: alkusfhasdf
SoLsUcK: what
SoLsUcK: how about now
SoLsUcK: are you sure u just aint on drugs?
SoLsUcK: well...this is one of our better conversations
SoLsUcK: i talk.....u dont respond....
SoLsUcK: actually.....this is just like all our conversations online....
SoLsUcK: at what point do u think we would consider this me talkin to myself?
SoLsUcK: so WAIT...u cant see any of this??
SoLsUcK: alright.....i have to go before i totally abuse this oppurtunity....DAMN MY MORALS


i was so close......i am gettin weak in my old age

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18th June 2003

chaoseyes3:22pm: so is the beach thing this sat?

ill be home this weekend because my bro's is having this big family grad party at my aunts on sunday. im gonna bring bryan home to hang out. i think you'll like him. he's a good guy. ask anna.

im gonna go find a filing cabinet here at the office to crawl into and sleep.

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9th June 2003

tabrisxx8:14pm: so today i was dubbed a fag who never ate pussy... mostly because i didnt entertain anymore questions about how many pussies i tear up weekly... then..while cuttin the trees a bid nest fell out of one of the trees with eggs still in tact and inside the nest... they told me to toss it into the chipper.. i refused, climbed the tree a bit and put it back in....so of course i got shit.. "o look at mr. sensitive...u fag." then i told them to come a little closer to me and the chipper and tell me how sensitive i was and i smiled...no takers of course.

so then while riding bitch in the truck cause we had to fit an extra guy in it the 2 dudes that were sittin on each side of me got the GREAT idea they would joke about rapin me cause i was in the middle...so i stabbed one of them in the nead with my lit cigarette.... the other guy laughed hysterical.. i told him the other hand was goin for his cock so that maybe we should just drive...

but they are all just jokers....its not that bad..they are just dumb. well...i have nothing to do and have nothing to eat because my family consists of ALL screw ups
so i am out

peace

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tabrisxx3:34am: u ever feel like just one more uncertainty and u might just snap? u ever feel like you are just so tired of waitin that you start to forget what your waiting for.... i am goin to work

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8th June 2003

lunaleise6:36pm: i will be coming home to you guys on july 19th around noon.
Current Mood: ecstatic

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7th June 2003

tabrisxx1:17pm: what do u call 2 cops, 1 angry mom, and 9 guys against spread eagle against a garage... MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT.

let me set the mood. me spado coffey spiegal matt and sauser at my house... 6 o clock that night spado gets a quarter keg..we tap it by 7 and me and him drink till 9 waitin for everyone else cause we are PIONEERS. people come. we pong. me and sauser dominate AS EXPECTED. so they people want wawa run. "dude we are all a little drunk." alright..lets walk..fuck cars.. so ant and matt stay back while me spiegal coffey and sauser walk there. get our shit. me and sauser leave together and eventually spiegal and coffey follow but pretty far behind so we get back before them.

i go in the garage and there are 3 xtra people there. jackoff (jack coffey) courtney and his friend....they said they probably would come but they did. so whatever. i say whats up. 3 seconds later courtney comes in from takin a piss and says "cops are talkin to coffey and the other fuck"

we panic....i hide the keg.. my mom calls from inside says she sees cops.. i tell her i hid the shit.. i hang up.. someone says "someone is at the door." i see a head..i walk up with my icecream open the door and there is a cop..

"whats goin on fellas."
"nothing man. eatin some icecream"
"o yea.. well i heard u on the phone talk about hidin stuff"
"phone? nah man... i was talkin to these guys"
"o is that so...step out all of u and get againts the garage with hands up.. keep your fuckin hands where i can see them"

we get against the thing.. they talk shit talk shit.. ask me questions..this your house? no sir its my moms. i live at college full time. blahblahblahb.. my mom comes out... he runs his mouth to her..tryin to scare her sayin SHE bought the booze and what not and she is gettin in trouble.. she says she didnt buy nothin. the kids coulda been drinkin anywhere.

cop asks spiegal where he got the booze from cause he had obviously been drinkin.. he said he hadnt been drinkin at my house and he got the booze from a mexican at the liqour store.

i say that i had been drinkin but not at my house.. he asks about dope OF COURSE. i say i dont smoke fuckin weed and i can vouch(spllchk) for everyone else in there and say the same.

blahblahblah.. he CLAIMS someone made a call that kids were breakin windows on the same street we were on...thats a lie..#1 we didnt do it and #2 NO ONE DID.. that was made up as an excuse to bust our balls... said they got calls we were runnin through peoples back yards..yet again see #'s 1&2. he heard me on the phone YES but that was ALSO illegal and he knew it.. without a warrant u cant do that.

his plan was this..illegally enter yard and hear some shit. then just find the weakest link and drill them till they crack. yes he would have entered illegally but it wouldnt have mattered...a confession is a confession. thank god we are all smarter then that.

in the end we got off. we all survived and nothing happened cause they had no evidence...no one broke and let shit slip and they were too lazy to get a warrant. my mom told them a few guys drinkin beers in a garage aint shit when our neighbor is dealing drugs and doing them right there on his porch.

i am glad though. i am REALLY glad that
A. i didnt find patty chiappine that night to come and chill cause i wouldnt want her to get in trouble
and
B. kathleen had to babysit cause she asked me on the phone a few days ago what was goin down this weekend....i woulda fuckin crawled in a hole and died if either of them had to get read the riot act.

although me and nick were discussing that though, YES had the poor girl been here i would have offed myself for puttin her through it, but that to be spread eagle against a wall in the rain right next to kathleen would have been the most intense kodak moment of ALL TIME... not cause i am demented or anything but just.... i dont know...i wanna say i got boozed up then busted with kathleen fredricks...i wanna know the face she would make and the reaction..well the one before she strangled me to death....u wouldnt see me the rest of the summer. i WOULD HIDE AWAY.. only because i would want to end the summer on that note. but then again she would probably hate me forever which would be fuckin terrible so i am glad she was safely nestled in her bed at home.

dear god....it never ends... NEVER. alright...i am out dude..
peace in greece

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5th June 2003

tabrisxx7:50pm: i just got back from work like...20 minutes ago.... 7:30.... woke up at 4am. went to bed at 1am. i am fuckin beat. not easy shit. but u aint hardcore workin the whole time...we start gettin paid at 7...we bullshit in the yard till about 9. then leave and meet everyone by about 10. then take our 15 minute breaks (aka a half hour 45 minutes) and yes that is before we have done anything. so we start actually workin around 10:30 till 12:30. then take our half hour (aka 1 hour) break go back to work at 1:30 and go till 3 and then kill the rest of the time.

i work with pretty good guys but total fuckin like meat head irish/W.A.S.P. morons. they sit their and talkin about "eatin the ol' pussy" and make fag jokes or any other joke that has to do with cumming on someones face. i mean ALL DAY. everything gets turned into a fag joke. i got asked if i suck dick, eat pussy and when the last time i ate one was. all of which i am like..."uh..i am a mormon...what is a blow job?"

and then they sit there and talk about "tearin their wifes pussy" up. i just dont know.. talk about random chicks u screw like that is even a little too dumb for me but i mean... the lady who had your kids. i mean "through sickness and in health. for rich or for poor. till death do u part AMEN" i dont know....in case its not painfully obvioius..i am not out screwin sluts everynight(by choice for the majority cause i dont seem it but i could act for a few hours to just pull some whore), not alone am i not lucky enough to be doin the wild thing with a chick i can truely say i LOVE and who LOVES me but for gods SAKE...i can still safely say that talkin to other guys about "tearin that pussy up" is just beyond me when its just even your girlfriend who u are still in the fallin in love process with but ESPECIALLY when its your fuckin WIFE. fuckin german and irish animals.

i dont know.... my demented delusions of the world and how it should be workin and the painful realizations of how it really works. i mean not bad guys and i knwo they love their wives....but the fact that they get into pissin matches over who drops the best oral on the ladies....i just dont know... then i think "and yet these asshole got ladies and i talk to my dog right when i wake up and right before i go to sleep." who knows....

well that is all...$126 and a day later.... i really dont want a "pussy to tear up"...maybe a nice phone call from a chick in which she would baby me...she would ask how was work..i would over exaggerate the pain i am in...she would say "well u worked hard..take a shower and go to bed" and i would say "alright..i will shower up then take a ride to your house real quick to say goodnight"...i would hear her smile over the phone from me still wanting to drive over there to see her although i am about to pass out and she would say "ok i will see u then" and that would be it....one day...... i deserve it....and whoever she is, so will she

this is the incredible hulk...signing off

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4th June 2003

tabrisxx9:42pm: dear god... i have to wake up in 6 hours for work...help me!!

i would like to say that i am gettin slightly distrubed by a strange group of similar comments that i have received in the past 2 weeks from different people.. i will go no further cause i care not to...but still

so now for spado comments on the beach trip
"dude..i am fuckin SCARED for this beach trip. u know whats gonna happen? nick is gonna be pullin his fuckin hair out on the phone, dawn is gonna fuckin disappear all of a sudden on the boardwalk not to be found for the whole day, you and kathleen are gonna be arguing about some political bullshit and i am gonna be sittin there with my thumb in my ass. i swear dude.. i will just go to the closest bar and fuckin drink all day. i dont give a fuck" (P.S. mainly to dawn, if u see this before i talk to u, the weekend of the 14th and 15th when we originally discussed going is out.. due to special scheduling requests made by individuals who will remain nameless. perhaps the one after (20th,21th) we may go provided the weather is nice

i tried to convince him this is NOT true cause i will be swimming. and so will everyone else...even kathleen wether she knows it or not... cause we agreed that i will be serious and have a good conversation with her for the first half if she loosens up and acts immature with me for the second half... give and take give and take. that is how "my relationships work" quote quote quote..... sorry. inside joke jargon(spllchk)

i TRIED to drop vocals on shit today but unforseen ridiculous situations kept commin up that stopped me. i wont get into any of that. but they will get dropped. FUCK WHATCHA HEARD. it will get done...this is my VOW.

alright...i gotta get up soon and operate heavy machinary... i will talk to everyone later..
Current Mood: aggravated, but now wondering

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tabrisxx12:17am: dear god i am bored..its raining..its pretty cool..its like fuckin jurassic park island over here. i would go chill in it but its kinda cold. and i am tired.. i had to get up at 6am. i have no money. literally.. i have $3.27 in the bank and 5 in my wallet and that is ALL. i need my job to start...not in a few days....NOW. real bad. the first of 4 songs will be done tomorrow or the next day on the demo. we are doin pretty good.

i wanna be the hulk. when i get pissed i wanna turn green and 9 foot tall and just fuckin SMASH SHIT. the hulk has recently become my favorite comic character... cause he is just some dude with a short fuse who FLIPs and turns in a fuckin maniac...like me but cooler and more dangerous and greener and he pulls hot chicks in the movie unlike me who pulls no chicks at all what so ever.

i want an oreo. we have none in my house...and that is an ass feeling...i hope the weather is nice not this weekend but next...for the maybe/who knows beach trip...dawn i think said she is down, lets hope she dont forget. and we still have no answer from kathleen so we dont know if we will have to reschedule or not.... so i just continue to leave annoying and aggravating messages on her cell phone. being that this trip was inspired by her when we were one day bs'n me and the guys and discussin pong. and i suggested maybe we should do something that EVERYONE (aka kathleen) would like after is seemed as though pong is not for everyone....then i figured beach trip...

SEE. I AM THE ONE KEEPIN THIS GROUP AFLOAT.. I MIX THINGS UP AND ATTEMPT TO ACCOMODATE FOR EVERYONE. I AM THE ONE TOSSIN OUT PHONE CALLS TO EVERYONE. MMEEEEEE. and i am supposed to be the angry/immature/asshole/god complex/ugly kid of the group.... rriigghhtt. i am ELMERS GLUE.

alright..that is enough..i am goin to go pick my nose.

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2nd June 2003

chaoseyes3:03pm: hi. i am a person, one of the everybody...does that help?

i waited in line for radiohead 2 dollare beacon theater tickets for 8 hours friday night to saturday morning. there were people there since wed. or thurs. i did not get them, nore did my friend who was there 12 hours. i would have been pissed cept i really didnt expect to get them. then, in my delirum, i managed to make it to philadelphia from ny to go the the wizard comic book convention. it was pretty awesome cept that i wish i had money and i wish i had been awake for it. i must go to more conventions. when i have money, which i dont. anyone wanna buy a spleen?

sunday i moved into my new place. it was hectic, i was very tired, i am still very tired. but i moved, most of my stuff is in the garage still because there is no place to put it in my room yet, things must be cleaned and moved around still. jonny has a lot of stuff (for someone who has no possessions). there are a lot of people crashing at delafield right now, like my friend paul. most of them just need a place to stay until their leases start. so, its crazy there, lots of people, but thats kinda how delafield is, always lots of people. i just cant wait to get my room squared away, its gonna be a good room if i ever do.

now, i am at work, with nothing to do really, which is fine, because i dont feel like doing anything. listening to tool, lateralus. i dont know if i spelled that right. im not going to try to fix it because you got what i meant.

i must go and job hunt today, after shopping.

i think my boss is back. i leave now.

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tabrisxx3:24am: wow....where is everybody...the flagged community has diminished to just me...sad

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20th April 2003

tabrisxx5:49am: dawn: so pete, i make u cum?
me: well sure, everyone once in a while.
dawn: wow, i never thought anyone did that thinkin of me.
me: well i guess they do
dawn: speaking of, have you talked to kathleen lately.
me: ...............uh......what?

dude.....just when u think a convo is probably odd enough, a demented and random twist comes into play and leaves u completely retarded and confused.

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18th April 2003

tabrisxx2:33am: u know whats funny dude.... that everyone says i have a god complex that think i am perfect...and yet i am the only one that admits my mistakes....and on top of that, i end up right anyway... everything i said would happen, people would do, how things would turn out came TRUE! and yet at the end of the worst semester of my life, i am right and i'm still not happy...lets hope that the concept that after the extreme worst, things get better then ever cause....if not......

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lunaleise1:19am: SoLsUcK: i think i need anger management

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lunaleise1:16am: SoLsUcK: i think i need to desensitize myself to females
he wears hee1s: ha, that's an understatement
SoLsUcK: why does everyone say that

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14th April 2003

tabrisxx3:29am: You're all a bunch of fucking assholes. You know why? 'Cause you don't have the guts to be what you wanna be. You need people like me. You need people like me so you can point your fucking fingers, and say "that's the bad guy." So, whats that make you? Good? You're not good; you just know how to hide. How to lie. Me, I don't have that problem. Me, I always tell the truth--even when I lie. So say goodnight to the bad guy. - tony montana-scarface

this quote seems to pertain more and more to my life everyday.....

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10th April 2003

tabrisxx5:10am: dude...........i wish taco bell were open 24 hours......cause then drunks like myself who are up at 5:10am could get some drunkin munchies takin care of.......KILL EVERYTHING....LET GOD DECIDE IF IT WAS RIGHT OR NOT.

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8th April 2003

tabrisxx8:01pm: well...i am proud to say that in health class today i became aware that i show 4 of the 5 main traits of alcoholism........they say if u show 3 or more you should seek professional help...........fuckin "a" man..........DRINK IT UP

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23rd March 2003

tabrisxx4:29am: I NEED EVERYONE'S RESPONCE.
well, i just got out of the shower....started drinkin at around...8...got home at 12, went to sleep, woke up at 4am after 4 hous of SHITTY sleep then took a scorchin(splchk) hot shower for half hour till the hot water gave out.

now i am sittin here contemplating whether i should take some more decongestant medicine..beings that i am still sick and no one cares... my sister got accepted to boston university...i hope she goes there and stays there...let boston deal with the little clepto schizo bitch for a while cause today i almost punched her in the goddamn head. why bostons at it they mgiht as well take my mom too...

back to school tomorrow...yay...unfortunately i sense drama when i get back to school...maybe i am makin it up in my head cause i actually want drama...maybe not....but i sense drama...several different kids from several different people. only things i can say in regards to that is that people wont like the newest and improved me... after some reflection over my break i have decided that if u r gonna do something, do it all the way. so i decided to be the biggest cock sucker scum fuck bag on the planet just cause that is the only thing i am good at and the only thing i know is a sure bet.

I HATE BEIN MOTHERFUCKER COCKSUCKIN BALL BREAKIN SICK....I FUCKIN HATE IT. well now that THAT is out of my system. anyone hear the new zack de la rocha shit?? do any of u know who zack de la rocha even is? well...its good shit....just heard it a yesterday....figured i would tell you.

ok i am spent...got nothin left to say....
oyea... EVERYONE GET A HOLD OF ME TO GIVE ME A YES OR NO MAY 31-JUNE 6TH no one ever specified a week it COULDNT be, besides kathleen so i should really just assume everyone is down but....we all know about assumptions....anyway...e-mail me, call me, something....we gotta get it b4 someone else does.....alright i am out...
sincerely,
your friendly neighborhood spiderman
Current Mood: eat my ass

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tabrisxx12:08am: ATTENTION MOTHERFUCKER
just got the e-mail back from the one guy...we got a house for $750 a week. that is 125 a piece if divided between me, lee, spado, nick, kathleen, and dawn. it is for the first month in june (may31-june6) i need IMMEIDIATE feedback for this shit. everyone needs to call me or e-mail me ASAP cause once we are commited, its a done deal...no backin out cause if u reserve then cancel, u pay regardless... so....thats realy it...beautiful house, described it to you last post..... GET A HOLD OF ME SO I CAN RESERVE IT...VERY VERY IMPORTANT. alright..peace

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21st March 2003

tabrisxx10:59pm: THE DEAL
well....just sent out 3 more e-mails.... so everyone is well aware, in the past two days i have made about 2 dozn phone calls/e-mails in regards to the shore house....any easy deed this is not...

i am stickin not all but a good amount of eggs in one property in ocean city that seems to be playin ball with me... it is a nice property...about 6 beds...fits 8.... whole building to ourselves....second floor balcony lookin out to the ocean..which is itself and the boardwalk apporximately 2 fotball fields worth of a walk away...that is about...i think.00000009 miles away for folks who dont watch football, 2.5 bathrooms, kitchen, central air... if we get that one it will be first week of june......the price ranges from 800-1900...in august, their last week was 1900, lets hope first week in june, there first week is 800. if so, golf clap cause we have a house, a very beautiful house actually.

if i am not mistaken this house is retned through the owner, no dick face reality place that thinks u are dumb because you are still in your sexual prime... hopefully if all goes well..we may be able to make this an every summer thing...with this as the house...

my neck hurts...i dont knwo why leroys brother uses this chair to sit in at the computer but it sucks. i am sick..my ear hurts, i cant breath, my throat feels like it is on the verge or being sore and my asshole is bleedin... well...all that except the asshole part. but STILL....i am bored...i wanna go back to school...dont know why..i am bored there alot too but still.......dont know, better to be bored in yoru own bed then in a foreign one...and my fuckin shitty ass futon is definetely fuckin foreign.

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